By Van Adams, Player Engagement Insider
In celebration of Father’s Day, we profiled a few Legends to see what they have been up to since retiring from the NFL. This “Up Close” series delves into the fatherhood aspect of their lives, with particular emphasis on Legends and their daughters, and granddaughters.
Known to be formidable competitors on the football field during their playing careers, the Legends profiled for this series share sentiments on fatherhood revealing a side many outside of their homes rarely, if ever, get to see with candor and transparency. Each one beaming with pride as they talk about their children and grandchildren (both the boys and the girls).
Stephen Baker, affectionately known to New York Giants fans as “Stephen Baker The Touchdown Maker,” was a third-round Draft selection by the Giants in 1987. Baker came into the National Football League with the touchdown moniker thanks to his junior college days at West Los Angeles Community College where he recorded an unprecedented 31 touchdowns in two years, and scored four touchdowns in one game, which that at the time was one of the best junior college performances the institution had ever seen.
The Super Bowl XXV champion wide receiver spent six years in the NFL, all with the Giants, before making the decision to hang up his cleats due to a back injury.
“After (Head Coach Bill) Parcells left, the team went through a lot of changes and I was let go, said Baker who retired from the NFL in 1993. “I was all ready to join the Cleveland Browns and then blew my back out which landed me in the hospital for a week needing shots every six hours just to be able to walk. The doctors told me I would eventually need to have surgery. [Retiring] was a difficult decision to make, one I wasn’t ready to make, but one I knew was the right thing for me to do.”
Baker took some time off to consider his next move; a life without the sport he played since he was a child.
“Football was my life. I had to come to terms with what my new life would be like and spent a lot of time sorting things out and passing the time with my planes and video games,” said Baker, a radio control enthusiast who to this day enjoys his childhood hobbies of flying and building helicopters, quads, and airplanes.
Raised by a single mother in South Central L.A., Baker’s interest in video games and helicopters developed at an early age.
“Growing up in South Central Los Angeles, my mother found a way to keep my brother and me in the house and out of trouble,” Baker said. “She brought us the best video game systems money could buy. My brother and I use to compete against each other, way back then we used to say, ‘It would be great if we could compete against other people,’ and now look at the gaming industry today, gamers can play against each other all over the world. I had a passion for planes and loved watching jet fly-overs. As a kid I built planes from sticks. Video games and planes kept us busy and out of trouble.”
It wouldn’t be long before Baker, who majored in physical education and sociology at Fresno State University, would take a job as a permanent substitute teacher in the Perth Amboy (NJ) school system where he taught and coached track for 15 years before moving on to become the general manager of a fitness club.
“I went through a training process to learn all facets of the business and eventually became the general manager of the facility,” he said. “It was a different experience than working with kids. It was another challenge where I learned a lot and had the opportunity to grow, but the stress of the corporate side of things just wasn’t for me.
Today, Baker, 51, has found his comfort zone on the hospitality side of things where he enjoys participating in fan meet-and-greets for his former team, spending his spare time flying helicopters, planes and quads, and honing his skills as a photographer.
“I realized life is too short to not do what makes you happy, we don't know what will happen tomorrow,” Baker said. “Focusing on my passions has made me the happiest I’ve been. I can truly say I’m now fully enjoying retirement.”
Baker has two adult children, daughter Ashley,24, who works in retail and lives in Georgia, and son Stephen Jr.,22, a criminal justice major at William Paterson (N.J.) University, and granddaughter, Ari, 2.
More from Stephen Baker on fatherhood:
On the moment he realized he would be dad.
The first time, I was in shock and nervous. It was right after the Super Bowl and I couldn't figure out how I would be able to manage responsibilities of being a father and playing football. Everyone was telling me that I’d get no sleep with a new baby and not be alert at practice. But it wasn't long after she was born that it all worked out. The anxiety was gone and I was in tune with her almost immediately. I could even tell the differences in her cries. The second time around, I was really hoping it would be a boy. There was some anxiety around having another child in the house to raise but nothing like the nervousness I felt the first time around. We didn't know the baby’s gender either time until the baby came. Like most guys, I was excited to see a boy. To have a boy and a girl was just perfect. It would have been even better if I had my way in naming my daughter Stephanie, then we would have Stephanie and Stephen, but I was out-voted (laughs).
On early memories of bonding with his daughter.
I’d take her everywhere I went. I remember I had a red Corvette with a baby seat in it (laughs). I would drive up and down the open highway with her. She would look at me and smile the whole time. I can remember the first time she imitated me, her first steps, everything. Unfortunately, I didn't have a phone with a video camera back then to capture any of those firsts but I have it all in my mind.
On parenting daughters versus sons.
They are close in age, but have very different personalities. My daughter is more like me, a little shy and quiet. My son is an extrovert, a go-getter with lots of energy. Parenting was easier with my daughter to some degree. I never had to raise my voice at her, but found myself always yelling at my son (laughs) he was always getting into something. Things shifted a little when my daughter got older; then I worried about the things most dads with daughters worry about.
On being a dad with name recognition.
I wanted to be sure my kids were raised to be kids first and not be known as the kids whose father played in the NFL. I want them to be their own people. My kids’ friends never seemed to care that I played in the NFL, they would come to visit and say, ‘Hi Mr. Baker,’ and then they were off to be kids. It would mainly be the parents of their friends who put emphasis on the celebrity stuff. When I would pick the kids up from day care, most of the dads would want to talk about the game. A five-minute trip to day care would easily turn into an hour. I can remember in Lamaze classes, laughs) Marsha and I would laugh at how shocked the other parents-to-be were to see us there, they’d say things like, ‘What are you doing here?’ It was kind of weird dealing with the celebrity part because I don't see myself that way, but I understand how a fan might feel. It just took some getting used to.
On getting the kids involved in sports and activities.
My kids participated in sports socially. They didn't have an agenda to play sports for the rest of their life and I didn't want to force them to play sports. Of course I wanted to my son to play football, but his first experience at five years old wasn't a great one. The coach felt because he was my son, he could throw him the ball like he was a teenager and single him out. I was there and of course immediately dealt with the situation and put him in another Pop Warner league and went to every practice with him. Stephen played basketball in high school and Ashley didn't really like sports but she ran track in high school and was a Girl Scout. I was at every scout meeting with her. It was a little awkward being the only dad there sometimes, but I was there to help encourage her so it didn't matter what anyone else was there doing.
On being a grandfather.
I wasn’t ready for that title (laughs), but eventually I came around. I was there in the delivery room when she was born and made a video of the special moment. We didn't have the technology back then to do this for my kids, but my granddaughter will have this video forever. By no means am I a pro at this, but I put music to it and it turned out to be a nice keepsake for her.
On bonding with a granddaughter.
We have a good time. Especially when I have my camera, she’s such a ham for the camera and loves to take pictures. She likes to play peek-a-boo with me, we go outside to play, and she tries to do whatever she sees me doing. This summer I plan to teach her about flying helicopters. I can’t wait to teach her how to move the stick; because that’s how you get kids started in the hobby. There are not very many females doing this as a hobby. I see kids showing up the adults my age and older all the time. How cool would it be for my granddaughter to one day be that kid? Who knows, this might even spark her interest in aeronautical engineering, or she might go into aviation and not just be a wannabe pilot like me (laughs). Her birthday is May 4th, so you know, ‘May the fourth is with you’ (laughs).
Advice for new dads.
Spend time with your kids and be there for them. Let them see you supporting them. When I was in education and coaching kids, one thing that I always wanted to change was the number of parents in the stands or auditorium supporting their kids.
When kids do something great, they look around and wonder if their parent saw it. You don't want to miss your kid’s first big moment because when it’s gone it’s gone. If you can’t be there for every practice or recital, you’ve got to move hell and high water to be there for the actual game or the performance or at least have another family member there to support them.
Van Adams is an award-winning entrepreneur and small business owner with expertise in sports business and business development. Over the last decade, she has represented a number of iconic sports celebrities and executed marketing campaigns for their personal celebrity and/or business ventures. An advocate for women in business, Van is the creator and producer of Gathering on the Greens, a women’s golf initiative, and serves as President of the Board of Directors for the NYC Metro Chapter of Women in Sports and Events where she oversees programming and strategy. Van spends her spare time in a test kitchen baking or on a golf course working on her short game.