By Troy Vincent
NFL Player Engagement
(Here is Part II of my discussion with former Detroit Lions quarterback Eric Hipple, now an author and an outreach specialist at the University of Michigan Center for Depression.)
As any former player will tell you, it can be tough to put your playing days and all that goes with them behind you, especially if you are uncertain about what will happen next.
According to Eric Hipple, crossing the bridge to the next chapter of life can be a very emotional experience for the former player, particularly if his playing days end abruptly or without notice. In fact, most players aren’t emotionally or socially ready to move on and need the right kind of support to be successful in the transition. Players who begin thinking about what they want to do next and have already started pursuing future personal and professional goals have a substantially easier time transitioning out of their playing days.
Eric points out that those who prepare for their next chapter tend to be optimistic about their future and feel more positive about their entire playing experience, while those who have not planned for their future have a much harder time moving forward.
“Many former players have confided that they are so distraught about their playing experience being over that they can’t even drive by the stadium where they once played,” says Eric, “it is simply too painful. Some won’t even watch television or sports as they associate it with their football days. Worse, some won’t even tell people that they ever played football. In an effort to manage their emotions and pain, they don’t want to talk about it.”
But that is exactly what Eric advises them to do. He believe that the best way for a former player to successfully “cross the bridge” to a new life and a fulfilling career is to talk to others about what he is feeling about his playing days coming to an end.
“The former player has to open up and express what he is feeling. He needs to tell his emotional story. It’s a form of de-briefing that will allow the player to work through the stages of grief such as denial and anger so that he can finally reach acceptance, advises Eric. “Once he does that, a whole new world opens up for him and he realizes that, just as he contributed to the game of football, he now has the opportunity to contribute in other ways. Success isn’t limited to the playing field. It’s simply the place where his personal success got its start.”
In addition to dealing with loss, often a former player will suffer from depression, feeling that they are immobile, almost frozen and unable to move forward. A player may also feel some anger and want to “get even,” and worse for the former player, he might feel ostracized.
Players develop such a sense of attachment and feeling of brotherhood with teammates, says Eric, that when they are no longer a part of the locker room culture, they feel cut off from their closest friends. One day the former player is part of a tight-knit group; the next day he has no one to talk to that can relate to where he’s been and what he is going through now.
“Which is why it is so important to prepare the player for transition long before the player learns that it is time to go,” he explains.
Author of the book Real Men Do Cry, he knows how vital preparing for the future is at every stage of a player’s playing experience. Eric continues to work closely with players in an effort to make their transitions both successful and as stress-free as possible.
He makes the following recommendations to both active and former players:
- Get ready. Embrace the challenges and look for the possibilities.
- Find the time during your playing days to prepare for life after football. It will make all the difference.
- Take advantage of any learning or education programs available. Don’t limit your interests. Get a closer look at any and all professions you find interesting.
- When transition occurs, seek out those you have already identified as your support team.
- Open up and be willing to share what you are feeling.
Ultimately Eric believes that the player who openly discusses all the aspects of his transition is the player who opens up his life to all the endless possibilities and opportunities that await him beyond the field.
(In our March issue, look for my discussion with former NFL player Mark Bruener).