I’m the commissioner of the NFL.
It’s a difficult job, I’m sure, working for the owners while looking out for the welfare of the players. It always seems like a happy balance is being struck in late April, when a parade of draftees crosses the stage at Radio City Music Hall, each one giving Roger Goodell a handshake and a hug after his name is called. But for the rest of the year it’s clear that the interests of the 1,700 players pale in importance to those of the 32 owners.
But I, Commissioner Sherman, am here to fix that, so let’s get started.
The first thing I would do is give up some of my power. I’d leave the whole fine system for on-field actions to a committee of former players and former coaches. I’d create a system of checks and balances, something like a democracy. (Crazy, right?)
If I were commissioner, I’d listen to Brandon Meriweather because he’s expressed something that many players think but are afraid to say. When the Redskins safety said he was going to start targeting the ACLs of offensive players, his message was understood by his peers but confusing to fans and media. The defenseless-receiver rule is forcing tacklers to target knees. Offensive players bend down to protect their knees, and if we target the waist, we collide with their heads and get fined. If we target the knees, we don’t get fined, and sometimes they don’t get up.
With hits to the head outlawed and drawing heavy punishment, safety Brandon Meriweather has vowed to aim low. That could prove dangerous for receivers like Calvin Johnson. (Jonathan Newton/Getty Images)
If I were commissioner, I’d listen to Hamza Abdullah, too. He’s the former pro who just blasted the league on Twitter for several things, including its handling of retiree benefits. I’d streamline the system to make it easier for players who need disability money to get it. Many ex-players would rather suffer than jump through the NFL’s hoops. They have to file paperwork, wait several months, go see this doctor on this day, a specialist on that day, and if they miss a deadline, they’re ineligible. That’s just how the league is, but not the way it has to be.
If I were commissioner, I wouldn’t ask a player to take a pay cut to play for a championship. Players are now paid postseason bonuses that are usually less than their standard regular-season game check. The compensation should consistently mirror the profits, regular season or not.
If I were commissioner, I’d be very transparent about where fines end up. In my regime all the money from helmet-to-helmet fines would go directly to fund treatment for players suffering from injuries from head trauma.
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